6 Lessons From 6 Years of Retirement

I officially retired 6 years ago, on July 5, 2018.

Before I retired, I was curious about what life would REALLY be like in retirement.

Now…I know.

I started The Retirement Reality Series to share my journey and lessons from retirement. The series has provided a window into my thoughts as I progressed through my retirement transition. The series is consistent with the goals I established way back in 2015, in my very first post on this blog, as I wrote,

“This is the story of my journey, told in the Present before it becomes the Past.” 

It’s been 9 years since I wrote that sentence, and this blog (and this series, in particular) continues to strive to achieve that goal. Today’s article is the 8th in the series, told in the Present as I celebrate my 6th retirement anniversary.  Here are links to all of the articles in the series:

The Retirement Reality Series:

If you’re curious what retirement is really like, or interested in comparing your journey to mine, this series is for you.  It’s been two years since I’ve added to this series, compared to four articles written in my first year of retirement.  Yes, that’s significant, and it shows that the lessons of retirement do slow with time.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself…

Are you curious what retirement is REALLY like? Today, a new article in The Retirement Reality Series…sharing what I’ve learned over the first 6 years. Share on X

Retired has evolved for me, and it will likely evolve for you.  As I wrote today’s post, I intentionally avoided reading the earlier posts in this series.  The previous posts were snapshots of my thinking during particular points in time, and I didn’t want to be influenced as I thought about what was important at this stage of the journey.

Today’s article is about what I find important to share at the six-year mark. With that, below are the six lessons that most resonate with me as I celebrate my 6th year of retirement:

Lesson 1: Retirement Is Complex

I’ve written over 400 articles on this topic over the past 9 years, which in itself demonstrates the complexity of retirement.   The retirement journey is different for everyone, yet many elements are similar.  Some folks arrived with a macro plan, others were forced into retirement unexpectedly. 

Regardless of how we got here, we’re all struggling with a lot of the same complex issues.  We’re trying to find our way through a strange new world, a complex landscape unlike any we’ve encountered before. A world where we’re responsible, with less external influence than in our working years. While money issues are “top of mind” in the early phases, we soon realize the true value comes in figuring out the non-financial issues. As we move through retirement, we realize how truly complex those non-financial issues are, and we discover that it’s in those issues where we find our true happiness. 

If you haven’t yet retired, buckle in.  You’re about to enter a complex maze that will take years to navigate.

At the 6 year mark, I feel like I’ve finally started to figure it out.

Lesson 2: Retirement Changes With Time

With 6 years of retirement experience behind me, I’ve realized the retirement journey evolves with time. As I wrote in The 4 Phases of Retirement, your experience will change as you move from the honeymoon into the more advanced stages.  I won’t rehash the phases (though I encourage you to check out that post if you missed it when it first came out), but I will reiterate the significance of the phases.  As demonstrated by the fact that it’s been two years since I’ve added to this series, the phases become more settled with time, especially once you’ve achieved the satisfaction of Phase IV.

The important point is to realize your life doesn’t just change on the day you retire.  Those changes will last for years and will be different than you expect when you first enter retirement.  This new reality requires a new approach, and embracing the challenge is part of the fun. Foster a mindset of curiosity, and learn to enjoy this new fluidity of life.  Recognize that you’re responsible for finding your way through the maze, and experiment, experiment, experiment as you face the continual changes in your life.

My life has become a continuous experiment in retirement, and I’m enjoying the challenge immensely.  In my opinion, taking this approach has been one of the primary reasons I’ve found such enjoyment through my first six years of retirement. 

Lesson 3: Your Retirement Will Be Different Than You Expect

It’s impossible to know what retirement will be like until you go through it. Of course, you’ll have some expectations in your final few months of work.  We all do. The other reality, however, is that we all also have Blind Spots. 

When I started experiencing the reality of retirement, I found that Retirement Is Nothing Like I Thought It Would Be.  At the same time, retirement is exactly how I thought it would be.  That contradiction is a reality of retirement that I’ve learned to embrace. 

Below are some examples of how my retirement is different than I expected:

Not a single one of those items was on my list of things I thought we’d do in retirement.  What IS the same, however, are the broader mindset issues I first wrote about in The Ten Commandments of Retirement, which I published a few months before I retired.  As I review those 10 commandments, I see how the unexpected items above resulted directly from the mindset I chose to adopt for retirement:

• II – Give with a generous heart (Charity)
• V – Try New Things (Woodworking)
• VIII – Cherish Family & Friends (Second home where our daughter lives)
• VII – Stay Flexible To Change (building the barn to meet our charity’s changing needs)

I’ve found the important thing is to get the mindset right and let the journey lead you where it may.  Ultimately, it will lead you to places you likely didn’t expect, and that’s part of the fun of retirement. 

Lesson 4: Your Priorities Will Change Throughout Retirement

In your working years, your priorities changed with time.  After college, it was about finding a good job.  Job in hand, you were focused on finding the right spouse.   Kids come along, and the entire apple cart gets turned upside down.  As the kids grow, you focus on maintaining balance as you work your way up that ladder to handle the increased costs of life.  Kids leave home, and priorities change to figuring out when (and how) you can retire.

I was naive.

I thought that pattern would change when I retired, but it hasn’t.  Just as in my working years, I’ve found my priorities have changed as my retirement evolved.  When I first retired, I was focused on whether we had enough money to cover our expenses until we died.  As I moved out of the Honeymoon Phase, I realized it was Hard To Spend Money, so my wife and I shifted our focus to finding ways to force ourselves to spend what we could safely spend.

In time, we realized money doesn’t deserve as much attention as we were giving it, so we shifted to figuring out how to bring fulfillment to our lives.  As things developed, my priorities shifted yet again, with a focus on investing energy into the things that were gaining traction.  After a while, we found ourselves running too fast, so we focused on Running Fast To Slow Down.  As the 6 years of retirement have passed, I’ve started thinking more about the reality that we have a limited time here on earth, and spiritual issues are the type of wealth I’m prioritizing now.

In summary, one of the lessons from retirement I’ve learned is that priorities don’t become any more stable in retirement than in your working years.  The real difference is that in retirement you have the freedom to follow them wherever they lead.   I love that freedom, and I’m enjoying the mental exercise of using my shifting priorities to guide the areas of life I choose to focus on. 

Lesson 5: Mindset Matters (A Lot)

As reflect on my 6 years of retirement, I find the importance of “Mindset” a consistent theme.  While a positive mindset is helpful in all phases of life, it’s never more useful than during your transition into retirement.

For the first time in our lives, we’re free to live the life we want to live.  That freedom, however, comes with an obligation.  The first of the 5 Things You Need To Know Before You Retire was focused on this fact, highlighting the reality that you are now responsible for filling 24 hours of your day.  Having the right mindset is critical as you make this shift to a “self-driven” life.  I suspect having a poor mindset is one of the primary reasons 28% of Retirees Are Depressed, whereas the opposite is true for the 72% who are happy.

One of the most important things I did as I prepared for retirement was to prepare my mind, and I’ve benefited from that decision for the past six years.  In the previously mentioned 10 Commandments of Retirement, it’s relevant that the first commandment was to “Have An Attitude of Gratitude.”  While many areas of our lives are outside our control, we have the freedom (and obligation) to control our mindset.

I mentioned my very first post in the opening of today’s article.  What I didn’t mention was the title of that post.  It was a simple one-word title, “Contentment.” Since the title is the first word anyone reads, it’s an accurate statement to say that the very first word I wrote for the world focused on mindset. That’s interesting and relevant to what I’ve learned in the years since.

Of all the lessons of retirement I’ve learned, I can’t emphasize enough the importance of your mindset.  In many ways, the mindset you choose to adopt in retirement will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Lesson 6: Retirement Can Be The Best Years of Your Life (But It’s Up To You)

The last, and perhaps most important, of the lessons I’ve learned, is how truly incredible the retirement years can be.  The past six years have been the best of my life, and I’m happier than I’ve ever been. And yet, I see hundreds of emails and social media posts from retirees who are struggling.  I’ve done my research, and I know the reality of the devastation that alcoholism and depression are having on many people my age.

It saddens me to realize so many retirees are struggling, while at the same time, I’m living the best years of my life.  That dichotomy motivates me…

• …to write. 
• …to share what I’m learning. 
• …to do the most I can in my little corner of the internet to make a difference.

As I write these words, I’m thinking about those of you who are suffering.  I hope that the words I’m writing help you learn some of the lessons I’m learning.  The biggest rewards I get from my writing are the countless emails from you, the reader, telling me that my words are making a difference in your lives.  For those struggling, I hope today’s post gives you hope for your future.

Your future can be bright.  The reality, though, is that the prospect for your future is primarily in your hands (and mind).  With your freedom comes an obligation.

Choose wisely.

The past six years have been a great ride.  

Along the way, I’ve been maintaining a journal named “The Retirement Reality Series” to capture what I’m learning.  The series has allowed me to be introspective as I share my retirement reality, “told in the Present before it becomes the Past.”  I’m thankful I’ve captured my thoughts and learnings and I hope they help you on your journey through retirement.  In summary, my biggest lessons at the 6-year mark:

6 Lessons From 6 Years of Retirement

1. Retirement Is Complex
2. Retirement Changes With Time
3. Your Retirement Will Be Different Than You Expect
4. Your Priorities Will Change Throughout Retirement
5. Mindset Matters (A Lot)
6. Retirement Can Be The Best Years of Your Life (But It’s Up To You)

There’s no way to know what the future holds, but the one thing I do know is this:

I’ve made a conscious decision to be content, regardless of my circumstances.

I’m convinced, based on my experience through six years of retirement, that this mindset will continue to serve me well, regardless of what the future holds.

As the Future becomes the Present in the days ahead, I’ll continue to share what I’m learning.

Stay tuned…

Your Turn:  If you’re retired, what have been the biggest lessons you’ve learned?  If you’re not yet retired, what lessons from today’s post most surprised you? Let’s chat in the comments…